The Ride, for me, has been a multilayered experience. Initially, I was overwhelmed as I came to understand the enormity of the process: the thousands of people who have lost loved ones, many of them standing along the streets of their community holding “Thank You” signs and pictures of their lost sons, brothers, lovers, and friends; the millions of dollars raised to keep the San Francisco and LA clinics serving the community; the rare and welcome feeling to be surrounded by kindness and acceptance instead of constantly fearing rejection, hate, and violence. This was big stuff.
Eventually, I came to understand that each rider represented hundreds of people who had put them there. For our team, all the people at the Center who supported the bake sales and otherwise donated help and funding, the bakeries, and all the employees who sent baked goods our way. Family members, friends, and co-workers all represented by that one bike rider. We were all out there. The riders are simply the public face of the process – the tip of a very deep iceberg.
The newest layer has been to observe how I have changed. As I photographed the rest stop entertainers, I was no longer terrified when they asked if I wanted to pose with them. I had really been more of a distant voyeur than an ally. Somehow, even though I knew better, the years of constant racist, homophobic comments I’d grown up hearing from my parents were still at work inside me. Recognizing that has disempowered those ideas.
I suppose there will be more layers to uncover as I continue the journey with the ALC. I am very thankful to have been a part of it.
Eventually, I came to understand that each rider represented hundreds of people who had put them there. For our team, all the people at the Center who supported the bake sales and otherwise donated help and funding, the bakeries, and all the employees who sent baked goods our way. Family members, friends, and co-workers all represented by that one bike rider. We were all out there. The riders are simply the public face of the process – the tip of a very deep iceberg.
The newest layer has been to observe how I have changed. As I photographed the rest stop entertainers, I was no longer terrified when they asked if I wanted to pose with them. I had really been more of a distant voyeur than an ally. Somehow, even though I knew better, the years of constant racist, homophobic comments I’d grown up hearing from my parents were still at work inside me. Recognizing that has disempowered those ideas.
I suppose there will be more layers to uncover as I continue the journey with the ALC. I am very thankful to have been a part of it.
Linn Harding, CSLSR, AIDS/LifeCycle Team Volunteer
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